Sunday, 13 March 2011

Paris and I ~ 'Danger, Notice Overload Imminent'

iPhone Photo Chronicles
~ If You Notice This Notice... ~

OK, now let me make sure I've got this quite clear:

1) There's absolutely no smoking, on this train, no way, no how.

2) You can use the interphone only if you are asked to do so by the driver of the train.

3) The location of the fire extinquishers are to be noted as clearly marked on the diagram.

4) We mustn't pull the alarm lever unless there a is real emergency. If we pull it for any other reason, we will be punished.

5) You must be careful not to place your hands on the edges of the door as when they close you could get a nasty nip or, indeed, get all your fingers broken. Have a nice day.

That's all I could fit in on my little ol' iPhone. What you can't see in this photo, on the other side of the doors, are my own set which I stuck up when no-one was looking...

6) Those with sweaty armpits must keep their arms at a maximum angle of 45° to their body.

7) People who believe their tinny MP3 emanations should be experienced by the rest of the carriage may be tolerated, but will be hated deeply and considered less than sub-human.

8) Smokers and other bad-breath bandits should not breath on other travellers. Failure to respect this rule may result in spontaneous vomiting.

9) Football supporters and other loudly chanting idiots disturbing respectable passengers' peaceful journeys are obliged to wear 'I am a moron' arm and head bands at all times.

10) Hilarious ticket-free jokers from the suburbs who pull the alarm just before alighting will be linked together with electrical wires running through the spaces where their brains are supposed to be, linked to deafening alarms which will go off at unpredictable intervals. This punishment shall last for the number of days left on the current month's Navigo Pass, multiplied by the zone they were caught in. Hey, even the RATP Train Police are allowed a little ironic fun, right?

© 2011
Sab Will / Paris Set Me Free - Contact me directly for photo tours, interviews, exhibitions, etc.

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...